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Toast of the Town
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Downtown, the Unbound Magazine's Toast of the Town
Ubiquitous Rick | 10/20/2012
Mostly unattributed quotes with unusually salient relevance to something...
"We're so transparent that our reports are invisible."
"As far as I can tell, she hasn't been in the mood since some time in June."
"I appreciate your self-defecating humor."
"I always said that if I can't tattoo it on the underside of my penis, I don't understand it."
"The following year the professor went bat-s--t crazy in class to the point that police were involved and we never saw him again."
"The ONLY function of economic forecasting is to make Astrology look respectable." -- John Kenneth Galbraith
"I give it six weeks before I am forced to start robbing liquor stores to feed my kids."
"Bankers call it interest, but those of us in the busted kneecap business prefer to use the term 'skimming'."
"While boasting of our noble deeds, we are careful to conceal the ugly fact that by an iniquitous currency system we have nationalized a system of oppression which, though more refined, is not less cruel than the old system of chattel slavery." --Horace Greely
"GMO means one thing to agribusiness, but to me it stands for 'Grow My Own'."
"Is this how they do it at the big hotels or is that girl just exceptionally friendly?"
"Scatalogical exceptionalism."
"We wouldn't be having this discussion if you hadn't told my kids that cookies are good for breakfast and school makes you stupid."
"So, what you're saying is that all irrational, obnoxious or otherwise socially-unacceptable behavior is excusable if the perpetrator of such is menopausal? I'll take 'OK, I give up' for $500, Alex."
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