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Toast of the Town
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Downtown, the Unbound Magazine's Toast of the Town
Ubiquitous Rick | 11/3/2012
Mostly unattributed quotes with unusually salient relevance to something...
"How many hedge fund managers just crAAPLed in their pants? iFUBAR."
"She really could use a boob job. It would go perfectly with her phony, superficial, obnoxious personality. At least then she'd have something to offer in exchange for the lousy way she treats people."
"We need Romney like a cat needs a leash."
"He was so nice to her, she had to dump him."
"Go ahead and vote. There's a 100% probability that you'll get just what you deserve and zero percent probability that you get what you want."
"Love was a four-letter word before the rest of them were invented."
"Sleek Greek geek beak week."
"I'm not supposed to be here, but since I am, we really should spend more money than we think we have. You know, rich it up a little."
"You used to be able to trust people to at least be civilized. Those days are over."
"Romney is perfect if you're really, really rich."
"Obama is building the best welfare state none of us can afford."
"You know something's wrong when you start losing pants."
"It's what Americans want... testosterone, genetically-modified, steroid-injected processed food full of high-fructose corn syrup, diabetes, disability, early retirement and a painful death."
"Life isn't fair, mostly because there are so many selfish people who can't stand the good fortune of others. They aspire to the impossible need to be first in line for everything."
"A sock, a jock, a clock, a shock and a crock."
"The banking system is composed of impossible objects."
"Jail isn't exactly where he wants to end up."
"The level of her misery prevents her from seeing anything good in anybody. She only sees what she wants to see - darkness. She makes everything conform to her horrible, miserable, twisted perception of reality. It's a shame. She used to be almost normal. Now, she's just old, nasty and more useless and angry every day. The realization that her life is just waste product waiting to be flushed only makes each painful, inconsequential day all the more frustrating. Hopefully, when she finally goes down the loathsome black hole of hatred, disgust and intolerance, she won't take too many people with her."
"Petrification would be a reasonable solution."
"If you're going to steal something, steal something worthwhile, you know, something people would definitely miss and if you get caught results in a long prison sentence."
"I saved a ton of money by not buying into the underwear myth."
"I'm not sure you're entitled to feel bad about getting played by somebody that baseless."
"He's a rich sugar daddy. Other than that he's got almost nothing going for him."
"With a knife, of course."
"Sure, I have some bad karma, but I'm releasing it, getting rid of it, and replacing it with the good stuff."
"How can anybody continue to hate somebody who's dead? I mean, it's over, isn't it? That person can no longer do you any harm. You can only harm yourself."
"It was the summer of almost."
"Generally speaking, it's not a good idea to make enemies of people who are trying to help you."
"Yeah, that could be a Sicilian thing."
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