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Toast of the Town
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Downtown, the Unbound Magazine's Toast of the Town
Ubiquitous Rick | 12/01/2012
Mostly unattributed quotes with unusually salient relevance to something...
"I found the way to his heart took a direct route through my wallet."
"I don't think there's any money in it. I think there's food in it."
"Keep your pants on. Don't wear shorts."
"He's a wiper."
"Politics is the entertainment branch of the Military-Industrial Complex."
"Reality and central banking do not go well together."
"Four girls. I'm positively thrilled and amazed."
"I suppose she cries a lot. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she's content with how things turned out. I don't know. I have no way of knowing, but it's hard to see how she could be happy this way. I guess I never really knew her after all."
"The ones who put on airs of intelligence for vanity are generally 'always right.'"
"Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction."
"If you want a dirty deal, get in with a church man."
"The concept of inventory is completely foreign to her. Small brain, you know... no room for keeping anything in stock, like memories.
"At the bottom of the fiscal cliff will be a great compost heap from which we can re-grow our democracy."
"No, she's not at all like that. More of an anti-slut."
"Or, it could be door number three, she's a woman."
"I know that's chicken feed at that sort of joint; probably not even a happy ending in the bunch for that kind of money, just ice cream pedicures and a little caviar on the balls is all."
"I can't help her now. She's lost. Her friends, they're followers, not leaders. They'll just go along, enabling her self-destruction. Maybe there will be an intervening moment, something to shake her soul. I'm hopeful, but not necessarily sold on the idea. She was wrong, but she'll never admit it and I've left her not much of an opening."
"As much as there's a nagging desire to go back, I can't. Everything has been broken, and, while I hate to admit it, the fix is probably beyond my capacity."
"Acceptance is necessary, but it's taking a long time to arrive."
"If you drink Pinot Noir and eat Morel mushrooms, do you get Pee No More?
"She's all yours now, pal. All of her relationships end in ashes, but you remain faithful, like a panting dog. Your patient suffering may have been finally rewarded, but at what cost? For what purpose? She doesn't love you and you allow her to use you, encourage it, actually. You're either a mendacious genius, incomprehensibly stupid or zealously masochistic. But maybe it doesn't really matter to you, as long as you get what you want, whatever that may be."
"Those in need of Viagra or Cialis need not apply."
"Yeah, he's a huge problem."
"Some jerkstain lawyer gets paid because you agreed to hire him."
"You were better than them, smarter than them, funnier than them and that's why they got rid of you. That, and your insistence on being honest, was your undoing."
"Come on. It's just a comma."
"Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration." 
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